Pointy-Hat's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Freedom Is Fragile]

Another Review =P

Last time you submitted this, I gave a review, and you wanted to know what you were doing wrong with the Flash even though so many people thought the art was good. Maybe this time I'll be a little more helpful in the 'advice' department. =P

Okay, firstly, your art and the story is what ought to get your point across. Use symbolism (perhaps the bird was caged at some point, and now values his freedom, for example), sound (music that fits the mood you're trying to convey ALWAYS makes a mediocre movie a better one) and storyline (tell a story of freedom, explain to the audience WHY it is fragile using images and sounds with your awesome art skills).

Using text to convey your ideas often times makes the video seem rushed or as though you didn't feel up to putting in the effort. Now, this isn't to say that text shouldn't be in the movie at all -- rather that it ought to be used sparingly.

You could draw out the words yourself, keeping to your own style, and add that much more quality to the 'toon than there was before. When I said that you had lots of potential, I meant that your idea is a good one (if it isn't an original, you're at least trying to tell it in an original fashion) and your art skills are good. Now all you need is to figure out how to combine all of the appropriate elements to take a 'toon from "good" to "great!" =)

And before anyone else here tries to give me that, "And what have YOU submitted!?" line, just know that as a Graphic Designer I do have some know-how when it comes to approaching target audiences and making a piece of art say what you want it to without the use of text. So there. Haha

I hope that was a little more clear than last time, and if you have any questions about what I've suggested or would like a little more detail, go right ahead and send me a PM. =)

Good luck!

maximani91 responds:

thank you very very much!

BUT WHAT HAVE YOOOOUU SUBMITTED? no just kidding
very helpful advice.. I can't even remember everything at the same time

hehe once again thanks :)

[How Not To Not Die]

I'm confused...

Your title says this 'toon's about how NOT to die, and then after the inital scene ("Don't put a fork in an electrical socket"), you went from telling people how to go about NOT getting killed, to telling them things to do to GET killed.

Perhaps a change of title is in order?

Linked responds:

the title is how not to not die. this is a double negative, so what the title means is how to die. think before you review kthx.

[Army Life]

Okay..

1) Sticks are overdone. Yes, they're easy to draw, but people on NG get so tired of seeing them, that you're not likely to get a good score unless you do something amazing. Try creating your own simplistic form of animation and see what results you get.

2) A helpful tip: When you want to draw realistic buildings and/or people, it's very helpful to find an image to use as a reference. Then, you try to draw the image you are looking at and adjust it until it suits your needs. This will GREATLY improve your skill. If you can't find a good picture, you can always use a mirror and practice drawing yourself a few times, so that you get the hang of creating human faces. Trust me, this technique helps - it's what they teach in professional art courses!

Keep on keepin' on -- you'll get the hang of it!

animatorchris2 responds:

thanks for the review, ill keep that in mind. I suppose my drawing skill wll get better as i get older.

[Your Inner Analingus]

Uh..

Well, my first impression was... This lacks any and all artistic effort.
I could see this being made humorous by maybe giving the Clock a pointer, a projector and a screen... He could like.. show examples of sex toys or something, like a professor giving a lecture.

It was pretty boring to just sit and listen to some computerized voice droning, too. There weren't even any subtitles.

In the long run, I ended up closing the flash before it completed.

I think if you angled this toward getting a laugh outta people and making them want to continue watching, you'd get a much better score.

PaperClipClock responds:

Wow.. So I've been drawing and everything for like.. all of my life. And then I discover Flash and it opens up a zillion more doors to me, but I'm so self critical, I end up deleting everything I start! >.<

[Passion II - trailer!]

Erm..

Well, I think this would have been loads funnier if there were effort put into it. Since we see that it took you 5 mins to complete it's kinda like the effect isn't as strong...

Watch for spelling errors and stuff, too, man.

And yeah, Jesus was Jewish - but then, so was Hitler.

Quarior responds:

1.I'm polish and my english is crappy.
2.It's a total n00b flash, well I didn't care for spelling errors.

[Commie Club: Intro.]

Okay..

On behalf of the majority of the NG members, I'd like to say....

PLEASE don't be one of those club/crew/cult/class things that just spits out crap every half an hour!

If you can keep the graphics up to par, and put PLOTS in your animations, you'll probably be one of the only groups that actually does that, and maybe your stuff won't get blammed.

I remember a time when we didn't have to worry about Clock wannabes flooding the Portal with junk...

You guys aren't going to do that, are you? o.O

CrazyChristian responds:

no no no, in fact, we dont usually allow Speakonia to be used :)

[Brave New World]

Eek

I remember reading that book back in like.. the 9th grade. I kinda liked it..

Anyway, this flash didn't really represent the book well. You probably had a good idea for it when you started out on this flash, but as we all learn at some point.. Ideas are kinda hard to put down on paper - or in this case - a Flash document. =P

I think you could definitely get a higher score if you made this movie as though you were trying to aim it at someone who had never read the book before. Maybe include some quotes, some of the more interesting scenes, etc.

And remember, practice makes perfect!

AvatarOfDeath responds:

Ya, you are probably right, and practice does make perfect:) luckly my scores have gotten progressively higher

[We all have rights on NG]

A point.

You have a point, here. I've also heard the, "You didn't make a flash, so shut up," bit. I happen to be a Graphic Design student who spends more time on homework and a job than I do on animation.
Anyway... You're right - People don't HAVE to make a flash movie to know what looks good in one. A director of a film probably can't act worth crap, right? But he still knows what looks good, what doesn't, and what'll please the masses even if it isn't perfect.

In regards to this clip, I think you could have at least added a 'play' and 'replay' button onto the ends to make it a little more professional. Also, if you had a mic, you might have also read your text aloud and/or added footage of yourself ranting to make it a little more humorous or something.

AlexJS responds:

I would, but my voice acting is awful. Besides, I would more likely break into laughter anyway.

[Matrix -- Real Life]

Hmm

For what it was, the cartoon was good. Not everything on NG has to be some long, drawn out cartoon where the artist is simply creating filler to ad seconds onto the length.
Really, you did all that was needed to get your point across. It's the 'toons with eons of boring blank spots that get on MY nerves.

Good job, but perhaps improve the voice-over quality and do something about that gun at the end.. it looked like some kinda square-ish baseball bat for a second there. =P

G3K responds:

Yeah, I wasn't really aiming for anything exceptionally long, it was just a way of filling up an otherwise boring day. =P

I know about the voiceacting, I've had that problem for a while.. I've flung subs into every Flash I've made to try and recover whatever I can in that respect but it's never really been enough. As for the shotgun.. I got tired toward the end so quality suffered as a consequence. =P

In closing, thanks for the review. ^^