I would suggest leaving the text up longer so that folks have time to read. I consider myself a little faster than most when it comes to reading, and I had trouble getting through the information before you changed scenes. Other than that, I hope you get a decent grade on your assignment. =)
Another Review =P
Last time you submitted this, I gave a review, and you wanted to know what you were doing wrong with the Flash even though so many people thought the art was good. Maybe this time I'll be a little more helpful in the 'advice' department. =P
Okay, firstly, your art and the story is what ought to get your point across. Use symbolism (perhaps the bird was caged at some point, and now values his freedom, for example), sound (music that fits the mood you're trying to convey ALWAYS makes a mediocre movie a better one) and storyline (tell a story of freedom, explain to the audience WHY it is fragile using images and sounds with your awesome art skills).
Using text to convey your ideas often times makes the video seem rushed or as though you didn't feel up to putting in the effort. Now, this isn't to say that text shouldn't be in the movie at all -- rather that it ought to be used sparingly.
You could draw out the words yourself, keeping to your own style, and add that much more quality to the 'toon than there was before. When I said that you had lots of potential, I meant that your idea is a good one (if it isn't an original, you're at least trying to tell it in an original fashion) and your art skills are good. Now all you need is to figure out how to combine all of the appropriate elements to take a 'toon from "good" to "great!" =)
And before anyone else here tries to give me that, "And what have YOU submitted!?" line, just know that as a Graphic Designer I do have some know-how when it comes to approaching target audiences and making a piece of art say what you want it to without the use of text. So there. Haha
I hope that was a little more clear than last time, and if you have any questions about what I've suggested or would like a little more detail, go right ahead and send me a PM. =)
thank you very very much!
BUT WHAT HAVE YOOOOUU SUBMITTED? no just kidding
very helpful advice.. I can't even remember everything at the same time
hehe once again thanks :)
Another Sprite Movie -.-;
It does have a few good points, but most of all I would have liked to see those lyrics in their own caption section at a stable location on the screen, complete with a darkened bar so that we can read them regardless of the background. That'll give it a little more professional appearance.
Contrary to what the others were saying, the controls in the game were pretty good. The object here is not speed of movement, but placement of objects. The way "Eric" continues moving in a given direction on the trampoline adds challenge. Being able to move objects while you're standing on them would ruin the point of the game in the first place.
That said, for the type of game you've created here, I can't find much lacking. I give you 6 out of 10, because the game is more than mediocre (a 5/10 score), but not enough to really "wow!" me (an 8/10 or higher score), and +1 point because I thought the title was a nice variation. It could have been something like "Reach the Exit Game," and I probably wouldn't have tried it out.
Suggestions: Perhaps a little music loop or something would freshen this up.
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